Story Baby Girl #2

Well, now that I'm a little over 18 weeks along, I figured I should document a little about this pregnancy so far.  To sum it up it's been very different than the first time around.  Most of this history/wordy part is for my own journaling purposes, but here goes.

About two years ago Dillon and I decided it was maybe time to start thinking of adding to our family.  I always thought I would 'know' when it was time, just like I 'knew' we were ready for Sequoia.  But, I never felt that way.  I don't know if it was 'knowing what I was in for now', my selfishness, or what, but I was hesitant to say the least.  But, Dillon definitely wanted more and I figured I didn't necessarily want Sequoia to be an only child so lets do it!  It didn't take long and once I was pregnant I was actually really excited about it.  Except, it never seemed 'real' like it had with Sequoia.  It was weird.  Then, at a little over eight weeks, it happened.  I lost the baby and it was terrible.  I know a lot of people have experienced this, but it was hard.  I was heartbroken.  

Dillon felt the best way to move on was to try again.  I knew he was probably right.  I again got pregnant right away.  It again didn't feel 'right.'  A week after finding out we were expecting I lost the baby.  That was two miscarriages in three months.  I was devastated. We were devastated.  I wanted to quit.  I didn't think I could physically or emotionally go through that again.  But I knew I still wanted another one.   

A month later Dillon moved to Alabama for work.  For the next four months we only saw each other once a month, the wrong time of each month, so I wasn't surprised that I wasn't pregnant, but still discouraged.  With Quoia, I was able to 'plan' everything.  This whole not getting pregnant thing was throwing me off.  I kept putting off registering for races, planning trips, etc. thinking 'well we might have a baby by then' or 'I'll probably be pregnant.'

Dillon came back and it still wasn't happening.  I got to the point that I was 'content' with just Quoia.  I loved our little family of three and I honestly thought it just wasn't in the cards for us to have more.  I registered for two Ragnars (bought a plane ticket to California for one) and a half marathon.  I had big plans for summer 2013 since I was just sure a baby wasn't in my future.

Then, one bright morning in February, I was getting ready to go for a nice, long run.  I had been late and kept telling myself I'd take a pregnancy test the next day, but kept forgetting.  I figured it was worthless anyway, I had been taking them monthly for over a year now and it just made me mad.  But this morning I remembered.  I almost didn't look at it before tossing it in the trash just like all the others, but I couldn't help but notice it immediately came back as 'pregnant!'  I literally didn't believe it.  I just sat there stunned, starring at it, not knowing if it was okay to get excited or not.  I managed to wonder into the other room where Dillon was.  He took one look at me and was like, "what's the matter with you?"  I couldn't get the words out.  I just looked at him.  He, terrified at this point, asks, "Kim, what happened?" "I, I'm pregnant" I literally stuttered.   

It's funny looking back now that we were both so surprised.  After all, we had been 'trying' for a long time.  We know where babies come from!  I think we had both just gotten to that point of thinking it wasn't going to happen for us again.  His face immediately showed he knew exactly how I felt now.  We were both in total shock.  We were happy, but scared.  We had been happy like this before, only to be heartbroken.

After it sunk in for a minute we were both so happy.  We had a little cry and a nice talk.  I went for my run, obviously with a lot on my mind.  When I got back I told Dillon I had come to the conclusion that it would be different for us this time, and that I wasn't scared.  I felt good about it.  He said he had come to the same conclusion.  Weird.  

We decided we would wait a bit to tell everyone our news.  This lasted a whole week for three reasons.  1) Basically, we suck at surprises, we were too excited!  2)  I had an indoor shooting qualification at work coming up and I remembered shooting indoors was a huge no, no when I was pregnant before.  I had to tell my employer  and 3)  We told Sequoia, who is even worse at secrets than we are!          

At nine weeks I had my first doctor's appointment.  They had me do an ultrasound due to my history but there it was, the little heartbeat, just beating away!

   

About the same time I had the first doctor's appointment I began to get sick.  Really sick.  It came at all different times of the day and I was throwing up all the time!  I was never really sick with Quoia, but this time I actually felt relieved every time I didn't feel well.  I knew that meant the baby was in there, alive and kickin' so strangely being sick for me was good thing.

     When I was pregnant with Quoia I knew it was a girl.  Like, no doubt about it.  With this one I never felt real strongly one way or another.  But I figured everything was just so different, it was probably a boy.  Dillon was kind of back and forth too but kept saying in his heart he knew it was a girl.  On the way to the ultrasound appointment we all said our final guesses.  Dillon and Quoia both said girl and I said boy.  

Obviously they were right.  The ultrasound tech was really confident.  I was a little shocked, but I guess that's just in keeping with this pregnancy ;)  Once it sank in I realized how happy I was about another girl.  I'm so close with my sister, I've always hoped Sequoia would be able to have that with someone too!  Girls are fun, they're what I know, plus, I already have everything I need!!  Dillon is really thrilled too.  I know he would love a son but he says he always felt it was a girl and he is excited.  He and Quoia have such a special bond he's really loved having a daddy's girl and now he gets two! 

We were able to watch the baby in 3D for quite awhile.  She was so active, the ultrasound tech kept asking me, "you can't feel any of that?!?"  Seriously she was a wild child in there and loved putting on a little show for us.  It was really cool to have that experience as a family. 

I mentioned while we were in Boston I had a couple of terrible migraines.  These aren't uncommon for me, but with pregnancy and not being able to take my regular medication for them, they seem worse.  My doctor just prescribed me something else to try so hopefully that was the last of them.  I can handle nausea and being tired but migraines are something else!

So this was me a little over a week ago.  Because I've been so sick (yes, still, even in the second trimester) I haven't gained much weight.  My doctor isn't too worried just yet.  But I honestly thought I'd be bigger at this point. I haven't had any super weird cravings, Taco Bell always seems to sound good (gross, I know) and sugary/sour candy and fruit.  I can still wear my regular clothes but daily things are getting too tight.  I feel super tired at about 3PM everyday but somehow I'm wide awake every night at about 11PM.  When I do get to sleep I sleep great, which I'm thankful for, I remember having a hard time sleeping with my first pregnancy.  When I first found out I was expecting, my doctor told me I shouldn't be working out at all and to stop immediately because I was technically high risk in the first trimester.  But I got the go ahead at 14 weeks to moderately walk/jog, do yoga, swimming or other non-lifting, low impact activities.  

So that's pretty much it for now.  We are so excited to have another sweet baby girl join our family!