The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Lets start with the good: things are looking up.  I'm healthy, happy and so is my little family.  As for the bad: well here is a little story:

After I had Baby Winter I seemed to struggle a bit.  I did not feel like myself,emotionally, I wasn't happy with myself physically, and I couldn't seem to 'bounce back' the way I had hoped or the way I had after Sequoia.  Everyone told me 'give it time, give yourself a break,' whatever.  After the new year I finally felt like things were moving in the right direction.  I went back to work (had a hard time leaving my baby) but welcomed some structure and an 'out.'  Dillon was staying home with the girls and seriously was doing a better job than I ever had.  I came home to a clean house, a cooked meal, and happy kids every. single.day.  He was so loving and supportive even with my seemingly daily hormonal ups and downs.  But, he also had to get back to work and left to Albuquerque on a Sunday for a week of preseason selling.  

I really felt like I would be okay without him for a few days and wanted to prove to the both of us that I was fine with both kids and working and could handle things with him gone so he wouldn't worry about leaving for the summer in just a couple months.  

Monday, when I woke up, I didn't feel well.  It was Presidents Day so my doctor wasn't in but I felt like I probably had a bladder infection and just wanted an antibiotic.  So off the the instacare I went.  At this point it still didn't seem like a big deal.  I would get the antibiotic, take it Monday, and be back to work and in a routine with the kids Tuesday.  Or so I thought.  They told me I had a bladder infection AND kidney stones.  I still thought the girls and I would be fine and told Dillon not to stress it.  

Lets just say I underestimated the wrath of those tiny, Satan sent stones!  Tuesday is still a blur I remember feeling terrible throughout my whole body and not being able to get out of bed.  Not just feeling pain but actual illness.  I remember giving Sequoia the Ipad and hoping for the best.  I remember my dad stopping by my house to check on me on his way home from work only to find a crying baby with a soaking diaper and a worthless mother unaware at the chaos ensuing in her home.  My mom rushed over, fed my kids, got them to bed and she and my sister cleaned my house.  Bless their souls.  

Wednesday wasn't any better.  I can't recall all the details of the next few days but at some point Dillon called my parents and flew home right away.  His sweet mom picked him up and he was able to be with the girls while my mom took me for a CT Scan.

I saw a urologist who, for whatever reason, was not interested in treating me like a patient.  He told me I did not have kidney stones, nothing was wrong with me, and that I had probably pulled a muscle and was over reacting because post postpartum hormones.

Sweet.  Now I was a crazy person.  I came home and had a complete breakdown.  I cried and cried and told Dillon I didn't know what was wrong with me and why I couldn't pull myself together.  I still did not feel good physically and now my emotions were really just taking over.  I freaked out about being a bad wife and mom, about getting behind at work, and not being able to work out because I felt so crappy.  Poor Dillon did not not what to tell me or do but tried to comfort me the best he could and was really just there for me.  

My mom and been with me at the urologist and was shocked at the way he treated me.  She and my dad were skeptical and begged me to get a second opinion.  Having pain like this was just not normal for me.  

So the next day my mom got me into another urologist (thank goodness she is a nurse and has some pull in the valley!)  The second urologist could not believe what the first doctor had told me.  An initial urine sample showed blood and he ordered an x-ray which I got right away.  Immediately he held it up and the three of us good see a giant rock next to my bladder.  Yup, a kidney stone.  I passed it about an hour later.              

Dillon marched the x-ray into the first doctors office and yelled at him.  He gave us our co-pay back.  Thanks, doc, that really makes up for making me believe I had in fact lost my marbles.

Wow, this is really getting long but anyway, that was the bad.  Now for the ugly:  I finally started feeling better.  Physically and emotionally.  I got back in a routine and back to working out and was excited to train for So. Cal Ragnar that was just a few (4.5) weeks away.  

I went for a long run on a Monday morning.  I came home and was getting ready for the carpets to be cleaned in our rental apartment.  Our last tenants had just moved out and had left a little table I thought would be cute to refinish and put in Sequoia's room (note to self: I do not do 'projects', they ALWAYS turn into a disaster!)  

The carpet cleaner showed up and I was showing him the apartment.  I grabbed the table and flipped it over to set on top of the washing machine so it would be out of his way.  Little did I know the glass/marble top was actually a separate piece.  It came crashing down on my bare foot. 

It was truly ugly.  After it bled for over 24 hours out of the nail I went to a podiatrist (I have seen more doctors in these two months than I have in my entire life combined.)

He took one look at my x-ray and said, "huh, how did you do that?!"  It was broken in two different places.  Awesome.  Poor Dillon witnessed another complete meltdown.  You would think a little thing like a toe is no big deal.  Turns out it is.  I got to wear this fashionable boot for several weeks and be wheeled around stores.   

 

Now for the good part.  My toe healed miraculously fast.  I was able to run my race after all.  After a great vacation with my favorites, I set some sort of 'reset' button in myself and all is well with Ms. Kim Story...at least for today.